


A million little times.

by danniburgh



Category: Pedro Pascal - Fandom, The Equalizer (Movies)
Genre: Angst and Feels, Attempted Breakup, Attempted Seduction, Break Up Talk, Crying, F/M, Infidelity, Non-Consensual Touching, Possessive Behavior, Shameless Smut, Smut, Song: illicit affairs (Taylor Swift), based on illicit affairs by taylor swift, break up denial, dave york comes with his own warnings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-13
Updated: 2021-02-13
Packaged: 2021-03-13 08:01:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,237
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29398764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/danniburgh/pseuds/danniburgh
Summary: You scourged yourself for starting it and then having the audacity of asking for more.You fell in love, he didn’t love you, yet you were willing to let him ruin you a million little times.
Relationships: Dave York/You
Comments: 4
Kudos: 13





	A million little times.

**Author's Note:**

> look guys, i don’t know what came onto me but i wanted two things, to write about our dear suburban murder daddy (because i love him and i love the dave york pit) and write something HEAVILY based on illicit affairs by my dearest ty ty. So here it is, this is more based on the bridge and the chorus of the sone because those lines just do stuff to me, hope you like it :)

“I’m going out” you said, zipping up your hoodie, heading for the door.

“Where the fuck are you going? it’s pouring outside,” your roommate questioned from the sofa she was lounging on, looking at you then at the window, she could see a lightning at the distance.

You grabbed your car keys and an umbrella from the small rack you kept by the door, more to make her stop questioning you than to actually use it outside.

“Somewhere” you replied without looking at her.

“Are you gonna see  _ him _ ? again?” she stood up and walked towards you, you rolled your eyes, she knew you too well “I thought you… dumped him”

“I did” you muttered, looking at your running shoes, knowing that if you held her really heavy judging gaze she would pull out the truth from you. You never left him, but you were about to.

“Then why the fuck are you going to see him?” she crossed her arms on her chest and you felt a tug on your stomach and bit your lip “holy shit” she made you look at her by grabbing your chin with her fingers and lifting your face “oh c’mon dude, seriously?”

“I’m gonna break up with him today!” you told her, almost whining.

“There’s nothing to break up!” she dropped her hand and let out an exasperated sigh, you knew she was right “he’s married! he’s older!” 

“Don’t you think I don’t fucking know that?” you spat at her. She rolled her eyes.

“You had tried to end things with that man four times now,” she sounded tired, she wasn’t scolding you anymore, she was trying to remind you “what is he doing to you? Fuck, you’re not like this!” 

You dropped your eyes to the floor again. He was doing so much; he was a lot to take. That man was killing you inside and taking away everything you were, he was eating your soul and you were letting him.

He was incredibly overwhelming, astonishingly overpowering, he suffocated you in the most delicious way; he was exhausting and demanding and knew you thoroughly, inside and out. He was too much and not enough. He was never nearly enough. And that was consuming you.

“You don’t really wanna know,” you said “but I’m gonna end things... today, I promise”

“Don’t make promises you know you can’t keep,” she murmured, going around you to open the door “I really hope you know what you’re doing”

“I am” you turned around and walked out. She called your name before closing the door.

“Please, be careful” you nodded instantly, not knowing if she knew something else you hadn’t told her or if she was just referring to the terrible weather outside. “good luck,” and she closed the door.

You stood in the hallway for a few seconds. Her last two words were weighing heavily in your mind, and you wondered again if she knew something. She couldn’t, but it wouldn’t be at all surprising. But you were grateful, you needed good luck. With Dave York, you always needed the luck on your side.

\--

You parked the car and turned off the ignition. It was already dark, the only light that softly illuminated the inside of the car was the pink and blue led lights of the motel’s signboard, and the thick raindrops hitting the windshield made a gloomy, unsettling symphony that invaded your ears and was starting to drill inside your brain.

You hesitated to send him a text that read  _ im here _ , but did it anyway, and waited there for his text back as you always did, he would tell you which room you needed to go to and how long you had to wait for him.

Because he always made you wait. He made sure you knew he was the one making time for you in his  _ so full schedule _ and you had to be available for him at any time, any day he wanted.

You wanted to leave; you were considering just turning back on the ignition, reverse the car out of the parking lot and go back home. 

Were you seriously thinking about standing him up?, you couldn’t do that, not to him. You knew he was capable of driving all the way to your apartment, kick off the door and fuck you senseless as a punishment. 

He was too much and you couldn’t take it, that’s why you wanted it to stop.

Yet you received his text almost right away, he was already waiting for you inside. That made you anxious, because he never did that. 

You got out of the car and ran to the stairs, not minding getting wet as the distance from the parking lot to the covered hallway was not very long. You tried to control your breathing as it hitched when you reached the room with the number 2B on the white door and you failed. 

The door opened before you could even raise your hand to knock, and there he was. In all his clean, broad, stiff glory.

“Hi” was the only thing you could breathe out, his eyes wandered through your body from the running shoes you slipped on when you got his  _ i want to see you _ text, to the black leggings you were already wearing that he liked too much and your crimson hoodie you grabbed from the laundry pile on the floor of your room.

His face was unreadable as always, but somehow after all the time you’ve been… what you were, you knew he wasn’t very fond of the ensemble you had put together.

“Dave?” you broke the silence, he looked back at you and moved to the side to let you into the room. Once you got in, he swiftly closed and locked the door and in one long step he was pressing his chest against your back and his half hardened cock against your ass, ripping a whimper out of your throat.

“I missed you, baby,” his voice was deep and hungry in your ear, his hands were hot and heavy roaming around your hips and your stomach, one of them traveled quickly under your hoodie and the tank top you were wearing and cupped your breast, he liked you better when you weren’t wearing a bra “I missed these tits” he pressed an open mouthed kiss on your jaw and a moan left your body without your permission, his other hand was about to snake inside your leggins when you grabbed his wrist and stopped it.

“Dave” you breathed, feeling his smirk on the skin of your neck, his hand on your chest kneaded the flesh and his fingers played with your nipple. You were wet and for the first time in god knows how long you didn’t like it.

“Say my name again” he ordered. You shook your head trying to focus.

“Dave, stop” your voice was thin but sharp and stung into him exactly like a needle. He stopped his movements but didn’t remove his hands from your body.

“What do you mean stop?” he grunted, still in your ear you tried to move your head away from his lips, to move your body away from him but his embrace was tight and it was too overwhelming for you to form a coherent sentence.

“I want this to stop” the words left your mouth before you could really measure the weight of them.

Then and only then Dave broke all contact with you, and even there, your body shivered at the loss of his heat.

“Again with that shit?” he grunted out, you looked down and tried to regain your composure “you need to understand something, baby” he grabbed your shoulder and turned you around to face him “you’re mine” he cupped your face with both hands and pressed his mouth with yours hoarsely, your hands instinctively placed themselves on his chest and you tried to push him away “your mouth is mine” he growled, his lips traveled to your neck and he bit the tender flesh over the jugular, making you whine “this neck is mine” one of his hands snaked down and he cupped your breast over the thick fabric of the hoodie “these tits are mine” that same hand traveled further down and around your body and he fisted your buttcheek, you started trembling “this ass in mine” you shook your head again, his hand gripped your chin and you felt his fingers digging on your cheek, a shaky moan escaped you when he palmed your pussy over the leggings “this cunt is mine” he moved your head and made you look at him in the eyes. Lust and anger had darkened his brown hard eyes “you’re all mine and you’re not leaving me”.

“I’m not yours” you breathed out on his hand and when you thought his eyes couldn’t look at you worse, they hardened even more.

“No?” he pulled your head, making your forehead clash with his “are you telling  _ me _ you’re not?” 

When had you become so scared of him?

You felt a familiar sting on your throat and your lower lip started trembling.

“Don’t even think about crying right now” he spat, his voice was two octaves lower than it normally is and a tear slipped out. He grumbled and lick it away off your cheek “even your tears are mine”

“Please,” you pleaded “Dave, please”

“ _ Dave please _ ” he mocked you and his hand moved to your neck, your breath hitched and you closed your eyes, waiting for him to squeeze “why do you wanna leave me?”

The question lingered in the tight space between your faces and you gulped hard, trying to understand if it was just a rhetorical or an actual question. The silence fell heavy and the gloomy symphony the rain was making had stopped outside.

He stood there, crazily close to you, his hand around your neck and the other grabbing your wrist. He was waiting for you to respond and you were trying to gather all your thoughts. You weren’t sure if your reasons were going to be enough for him, but you needed to try.

“Can you please let go of me?” you asked him softly, opening your eyes to meet his. “please”

His hands left your body, and he sighed, visibly tired, and you knew you had little time to try to explain to him everything you wanted before he got desperate and tried to fuck you again.

“Sit” he ordered, you stepped backwards and the back of your knees hit the mattress, you sat and he stood in front of you, crossing his arms on his chest, just waiting for you to begin.

“I–I want more” you mumbled, dropping your gaze yet again to avoid his heavy eyes on you “and you can’t give it to me”

“What more do you want?” he walked to you and his body heat made your eyes close

“You” you let out, feeling your eyes fill with tears again and your chest stung when he let out an exasperated sigh.

“You’ve got me” his voice was rough, you shook your head.

“No, I don’t” you stood up “fuck, Dave, you’re married!” you panted, his arms dropped and he just stared at you.

“Sit down!”

“Drop it!” you cut him off “you have kids!” and the sudden realization that he didn’t care about that as he looked at you with a serious but blank expression made you want to scream “and I’m what? your relief?” 

“Listen to me–” he started, you shook your head.

“No, stop!” you blinked your tears away “and I think I might be sick because I–I think I love you”

You saw his eyes shift, his strong, inexpressive facade fell for a few seconds as his brow furrowed slightly. And against your will, it gave you the smallest hint of  _ hope _ .

No, he doesn’t love you, he will never love you.

“And you’re consuming me, Dave,” you let out “I don’t like the person I am when I’m with you”

“Baby–”

“Don’t call me that” you begged, wiping the tears that had fallen down your cheeks “I’m a mess, Dave” you sobbed out “I let you take over my life!” 

He gave a step towards you and you lifted your palm to make him stop.

“I let you control every single aspect of my life, I’m such an idiot,” he shook his head “yes! I am be–because I’m still here! I’m letting you ruin me yet another time!” 

He called your name roughly, and you shivered at the sound of it in his voice. There had been a long time since he last used your name.

“I’m not gonna let you leave,” he drawled, his voice still low. He walked towards you again and grabbed your wrists “you’re not walking out on me, you hear me?” your face quirked in pain and he let go of one of your wrists and moved his hand up to wipe your tears with the back of his fingers “you knew what you were getting into,” he cupped your face “I’m not letting you go and you will take what I give you,” he closed the distance between you.

You knew this would happen; you knew he wouldn’t accept it; you were tired. He was exhausting.

His lips were soft and warm against yours and for a moment, his touch on your face made you feel cared for.

“For how long?” you asked on his lips, he moved back to look at you with a frown “how long will you keep me?”

Were you really agreeing to this? Were you just about to take it? He was basically forcing you at that point and you were really just… embracing it?

“You really want out?” you saw him studying your face, his eyes traveled around your pained expression and you saw them flash in front of you, you blinked away the tears that had gathered in your eyes and nodded.

“You’re destroying me,” you whispered.

“How am I destroying you?” his question sounded genuine, as if he was surprised at your revelation.

“Don’t you know?” you saw him shaking his head slowly “think about it Dave, you’re too overwhelming, too apprehensive, too rough, too much,” 

“You like it” he let out, almost as if he was reminding you of it.

“That’s the thing, I love it,” you whined out “I love you and you don’t love me and all thi–”

“Who says I don’t?” he cut you off, you widened your eyes.

“What?” your voice roughened and his jaw tightened.

“Don’t think for me,” he spat, his hands moved to your shoulders “if I’m telling you I won’t let you leave it’s not because I want to keep you against your will,” you sighed “it’s because I just want  _ you _ ,” he licked his lips and breathed out heavily “I get it, it’s not fair, I won’t leave my family,” you felt your lids drop and a whimper left your body “I can’t give you what I already gave to them,” you felt your legs weaken and his hands slid from your shoulders to your waist as he held you “I can just give you this, and if you won’t take it, then go and I won’t bother you again”

“Fuck,” you breathed out, he broke the embrace he had you in and you sat on the bed slowly, hand resting on your thighs, head hanging low, tears slipping out. He kneeled in front of you. His face was blank again, but there was something behind his eyes that told you he didn’t want you to leave him.

For a moment you let yourself remember how everything had started. It was an autumn night, months and months before that felt like years.

You were getting into a coffee shop and he was heading out; you bumped into each other and he spilled his black coffee all over your beige coat. You had giggled, and he was almost mortified, rambling about paying the dry cleaning and buying you another coat, he even gave you his card and offered to pay for your coffee order. You told him over and over not to worry and accepted his drink offer with the condition of drinking it with him. He introduced himself and asked for your name; you had seen the golden ring in his left hand right away and yet you still flirted with him because you didn’t think he would take onto your advances; he told you he had enjoyed your company and asked for your number when you were saying goodbye.

He called you for the first time the next day and asked you out. He proposed it as two new friends getting to know each other, but the whole dinner he was eating you with his eyes. You were enjoying the way he was looking at you and talking to you and how his hand slid on the table to brush your knuckles, and when he asked you if you wanted to go somewhere else you didn’t hesitate in saying yes.

That night he fucked your brains out in a nice hotel suite he had previously reserved, because he knew you wouldn’t say no.

And from there you opened up to him, he taught you new things about your body you had never known; he made you cum in so many ways you never knew were possible; he kissed you and took your breath away; he ate you out like a thirsty man drinking a glass of water after three days on the dessert; he fucked you like it was the first and the last time.

He had memorized every single thing you liked; he knew your body in ways you didn't and he let you get to know his so you could give him as much pleasure as he wanted.

Dave soon enough became the owner of every single thought and free hour you had.

He invaded your mind and your body in the most delicious way; he took over and appropriated your whispers, your sighs, your shudders, your orgasms and every gasp and moan that came out of your mouth. He was rough and broad and hard, and he praised you as you liked it, and he gave into your demands and kinks as much as you gave into his.

He became everything you wanted, and he possessed you in so many ways you stopped going out with friends to meet with him. You changed your schedule as he asked and accommodated yourself to please his needs. Dave occupied your life and you let him.

Yet you knew nothing about him.

Of course he told you he was married. But you found out he had two daughters when you picked up his wallet from the floor and saw the picture of them he had inside. He never told you their names or their ages. He never told you what he did for a living or where he lived.

And after some time he stopped taking you into nice hotel suites and started meeting you in cheap motels. He started being rougher, and you started loving him. 

And every orgasm he took out of you and every sigh and moan and whimper and gasp came out of you with so much love you knew he could feel it, yet he said nothing and made sure you didn’t ask for more.

You didn’t know at what point it became unbearable, unsustainable, incredibly hard to meet him. You started thinking about his wife, about his daughters, about the things he had with them and not with you. 

You scourged yourself for starting it and then having the audacity of asking for more.

Then you asked him to stop all of it for the first time, and he just brushed it off and fucked you with his fingers and his mouth and his cock until you forgot the idea.

The second time you asked, he took you to dinner after having you ride him for two hours and ripped out of you so much pleasure you thought it was going to change something.

But it didn’t.

And so on.

And now he was kneeling in front of you while you sobbed your eyes out and he was still as overwhelming and overpowering as he always was, yet his body radiated so much heat you wanted to rip his clothes off and show him how much he had made you love him.

“I’m obsessed with you,” he muttered, taking your hands and intertwining them with his “you keep roaming around my mind like it’s your job to invade my every thought,” you looked at him and his eyes pulled something inside you that didn’t have a name until that same moment “I think about you when I’m fucking my wife, and I have to stop myself from calling her by your name,” two thick tears escaped your eyes and he took a hand out of the entanglement on your lap to brush them off softly “I need you,”

He said he needed you and you believed him. You needed him too, even though he was never going to fully be yours, even though he would never give you what you wanted and the cheap motels or the nice hotel suites and the sporadic dinner dates would never be nearly enough.

He said he needed you and you needed him more. More than he could ever need you. You needed him and wanted him and loved him so bad you were willing to take in whatever he wanted to give you from himself, even if it was scraps and crumbles of an already taken and loved man.

“Fuck, Dave,” you looked at him, his eyes deep and mysteriously bewitching, and you knew instantly, you would let that man break you in infinite pieces, you would let him use you and manhandle you as he pleased and you would let him ruin you over and over again.

“I need you” he repeated, with another connotation. He needed your body, and you needed his. You let out a heavy sigh and lifted your hands to cup his face, he immediately pushed himself up and took your lips on his.

His kiss was eager, anxious and hungry. His hands moved to your waist, and he slowly made you lay on the bed, leaning down with you to hover over your body with his knees on each side of your thighs on the mattress, without breaking the kiss.

Dave slid a hand inside your hoodie and started wandering around the skin of your belly and your chest. His hand was still warm and his touch was softer than it had been the last few dozen times he had touched you.

You let out a soft whimper when his tongue licked your lower lip and gained access to your mouth; he let you put your hands around his neck and your fingers started playing with the short hair on his nape.

“Your lips are mine” he whispered against your lips, you smiled softly. Of course.

“Yours, ”

His hand inside your hoodie moved to your breast, and he started playing softly with your nipple, you felt your arousal gathering inside your thighs.

You felt a tug inside your lower belly when he moved his mouth to your neck and started leaving kisses on the soft skin, Dave hadn’t kissed your neck like that since the first time he had fucked you.

“Your neck is mine” his breathing hit the wet spot he had kissed, and you moaned.

“Yours,”

His other hand played with the hem of your leggings, and he licked your earlobe.

“Stand up, let me take off your clothes,” he whispered into your ear, it wasn’t an order but it wasn’t a plea, you moaned and he moved back to help you stand off the bed.

You stood in front of him and he grabbed the hem of the hoodie; he lifted it up, and you raised your arms for him to remove it from your body; he dropped it on the floor next to him and did the same with the tank top you were wearing underneath. His eyes stayed glued to your breasts, and he raised his hands to cup both of them. He walked to you and kissed you again, kneading the flesh softly as he breathed in the sighs you were letting out.

“Your tits are mine” he whispered on your lips.

“Yours” your hands moved to his chest, and you started to unbutton his shirt nimbly.

He let you slide his shirt off and drop it on the floor. You moved to his belt and unbuckled it.

Dave snaked his hands from your chest to your waist and then around your body to caress both buttcheeks over the fabric of the leggings.

“Your ass is mine” he whispered, you nodded as you unzipped his pants and slid your hands from his waist through his briefs to his own ass and knead him for a second. Dave looked at your face and you smiled at him softly, he saw your puffy red eyes from crying and leaned down to kiss you again.

For a moment you let yourself forget all the powerfully negative things you had felt about the whole situation. His lips being soft and warm enough for you to blank your mind.

You wanted to ask him why was he being so soft with you, but you didn’t want him to stop.

He moved his hands from your ass back to the waistband of your leggings and pulled down along with your underwear, breaking the kiss only to help you get out of them and out of your shoes.

“Lay down” he murmured, again not ordering yet not pleading. And you did as you were told.

Dave removed the rest of his clothes and grabbed your knees, spreading you open in front of him, he saw you wet and his hand trailed all the way up your thigh; he slid two fingers across your slit; you gasped at the contact and your hips circled, trying to get closer to his hand.

He leaned down and supported himself on one hand, his knees between your legs, while bringing the hand in between your legs to your mouth and spread your arousal on your lips.

You were about to lick them to taste yourself when his lips clashed into yours, hungrier than before, both of you tasting your juices in the kiss.

Your hand reached down between your bodies to grab his hardened cock and pump him a few times, his kiss became sloppy and wet as you played with the pre semen on the tip, he let out a grumble when you choked the head with your thing and your index around it and he bit your lower lip when you squeezed it.

He took your wrist as he broke the contact of your lips and removed your hand from his cock; you knew what was coming and you spread your legs wider to give him space.

Dave lined himself up to your slit and played the tip up and down from your entrance to your clit and pressed it on the bundle of nerves, ripping a loud moan out of you.

“Dave, please,” you whispered, he was looking at you, his brown eyes were less hard and less dark and you moved your hips to try to get him closer to you.

“What, baby,” he asked, low voiced.

“Fuck me,” you said, he gave you half a smile as he slid himself into your core, his hand gripping your hip. You let out a sigh in relief as he painfully slowly bottomed up.

He stayed inside for a few seconds for your walls to stretch and get used to his thickness.

“Your cunt is mine” he whispered, looking into your eyes, you nodded and he kissed your temple “you’re still so tight, baby,” he pulled out almost entirely and thrusted into you slowly “so tight and wet as the first time I fucked you”

You curled your arms around his shoulders when he hid his face in the crook of your neck and let out a moan when he circled his hips inside you and hit ever so slowly that sweet spot that only his cock could find.

“Dave, shit,” you gasped when he thrusted into you harder “no–nobody could,” he pounded into you again “e–ever fuck me like you do,” 

You felt his smirk on your skin and he licked and kissed the skin that was within reach of his mouth, moving his hips faster until he found a pace that made you squirm and whine under him.

“You’re all mine, baby,” he breathed on your ear “say you’re mine,”

“I’m yours, Dave,” his hand snaked from your hip to the spot you were joined and he gathered some of your arousal with his fingers, he started circling his wet fingers on your clit and you whimpered “oh my–god, Da–Dave,”

“Fucking say you’re mine,” he moaned again in your ear as his hips moved faster “you’re mine to take, mine to use mine and only mine,” his thrust became deeper, “your body and your mind are mine, say it,” his fingers played your clit nimbly.

“Shit,” you hissed out, closing your eyes and clenching around him, he moaned your name “I’m yours, Dave, I’m all yours,” you cried out as you felt your core on fire and the known tide of sensations drowned you from the inside of your lower belly “I’m so close,” you panted.

“Cum around my cock, baby,” he moved faster and his fingers slid into your pussy almost by themselves and you felt so full by his cock and his hand you felt your orgasm hit you like a giant wave in the middle of a storm.

You cried out his name once, twice, three times as he fucked you through your high chasing his own orgasm.

He moaned your name again, and he lifted his head from your neck to kiss you. His fingers were still inside you along with his cock and he was so close he could see white spots behind his closed eyes.

“Dave please come inside me,” you whispered against his lips, he kissed you again and you bit his lower lip, he opened his eyes to see your post orgasmic smile and your glassy eyes “claim me, fill me up, baby,” you pleaded “please, I want to feel your cum,” he moaned again and pounded deep once, twice and you felt his hot seed spilling inside your core.

“Fuck,” his breath hitched “holy shit, baby,” he pulled out his hand out of your pussy as his cock finished spurting and he licked his fingers clean. You smiled at him and he stuffed them into your mouth. You giggled, licking his saliva and the rest of your juices off.

He watched you recover your breath, and you traced his clean shaven jawline with your fingers. He moved his head to kiss your palm without losing eye contact.

“You’re not getting rid of me,” he muttered against your hand.

“Okay,” you whispered.

“I’m gonna make some changes,” he breathed. You nodded, “but you're not leaving,”

“I'm not leaving,”

“Good,”


End file.
